


Unraveled

by CamCamx3



Series: In a Champion's Hands [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Multi, Otherwise this is just another ANGSTY relationship fic, Phone Sex, Sexting, Tags Are Hard, The only reason this is rated mature is legit the summary, There is definitely mention of, Ushijima deserves a good relationship, but don't actually expect it to be explicit, have i learned to tag? no ♥, okay tags are going no where now, so why do i keep writing him in weird ones? no one will ever know, sometimes the wisest words are from your friends, that's another word for it too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:41:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27201949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CamCamx3/pseuds/CamCamx3
Summary: “I really don’t get how you’ve got him so wrapped around your finger, like, do you even know why he’s doing all this?”“Nah, but not like I can complain… A star volleyball player after my heart? It’s strange but I like the attention.”“Don’t you think it’s a bit rude for you to not return those feelings, though?”“Eh, he’ll get over it. Wanna see this video he sent me the other day?”“What’s it about?”“Him cumming.”
Relationships: Ushijima Wakatoshi/Reader
Series: In a Champion's Hands [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1987219
Comments: 7
Kudos: 51





	1. Bound by Fear

**Author's Note:**

> this is your warning:  
> i am NOT SORRY for the summary being MOSTLY a lie. this is seriously just a fic i wrote around THAT ONE THING but it's NOT smut... i can't do it... im too weak... x_X
> 
> i guess also like.. underage sexual themes are in here. they are high schoolers after all.. x.x

It was another typical night and you were lounging around, browsing through various outlets of social media trying to pass the time until your late-night series came on. Your friend you held onto from cram school was lying at the foot of your bed, head hanging off the side and her phone equally holding most of her attention. Who would have thought that the Shiratorizawa life could at times be so boringly mundane? Perhaps you should have tried a bit harder on the track team to get to go on the away competition this weekend, but that sounded like a lot more work than you really cared for. Plus, it kind of conflicted with your plans to just be teenagers for a bit and hang around with your friends. Lose for the prestige of representing Shiratorizawa, win for not having to get really sweaty and exhausted.

“How the hell did I get into this school?” you asked out loud, hoping that maybe your friend had the answer to the question. She continued to tap away at her phone as she replied back. 

“You passed the entrance exams.”

“Okay, Ushijima. That’s what I meant.” You snorted as your phone vibrated in your hand.

“It’s what you asked,” she said, this time lowering her voice to try and match that of the deep rumble that Ushijima had. The two of you laughed at the moment you two shared as you checked who was messaging you.

“Speak of the devil and he shall appear,” you muttered, flipping your phone around to show your friend who was texting you. She peeled her gaze away from her own phone to check, a knowing, sly grin growing across her face. 

“I swear, you so much as mention his name and he appears at your call.” You turned your phone back to you to read over the text he had sent.

_9:43 p.m._

_Toshi not Yoshi ♥_

_Are you coming to the game tomorrow?_

“Yeah, and most of the time it’s just to ask if I want to watch him play volleyball or something.” You wrote a quick reply back saying you were going to hang out with your friend tomorrow and couldn’t make it. You even added a little sad emoji to emphasize how entirely devastated you were that you couldn’t see him crush yet another team.

“So, like, I know he’s kind of not your boyfriend but...” your friend began earnestly. She repositioned herself to more comfortable talk to you as she rested her head on propped up arm. “He seems pretty keen on having you around all the time.”

“We don’t say the b-word in this room, missy.” Your friend shrugged as she lazily gazed around before continuing.

“I mean, he kinda is.”

“Is not.”

“He walks you to school.”

“Friends can do that.”

“He wants you to go to all his games and practice matches.”

_9:45 p.m._

_Toshi not Yoshi ♥_

_You can bring them too, if you have time. You don’t have to stay the whole match._

“Friends can want platonic support. I ask you to come to my track meets.”

“He buys you gifts.”

"You buy me gifts? Are you my girlfriend now?” You pretended to ignore her as she motioned to the pile of different gift boxes you had accumulated over the course of the last two years. Your parents had really gotten onto you about not getting rid of them but like, you thought maybe you could reuse them. They were nice boxes after all and you left most of the wrapping intact...

“You’re literally wearing his jacket right now.” 

“It’s cold!” Your friend gestured to the open closet showcasing several different jackets and long sleeves you could have been wearing instead. “It was… already off a hanger. You saw it, it was on the edge of my bed when we got here!”

“And you immediately put it on.”

“It’s cold!!” you reiterated with a bit of a hiss in your voice. “I can’t believe you’re trying to intervention me on whether or not I’m dating Ushijima.” You typed out another response to Ushijima, half-heartedly promising that you’d see if they wanted to go tomorrow.

“I just really don’t get how you’ve got him so wrapped around your finger, like, do you even know why he’s doing all this? It’s been what, almost three years?”

_9:46 p.m._

_Toshi not Yoshi ♥_

_Alright. Maybe tell them it’s an important match._

“Nah, but not like I can complain… A star volleyball player after my heart for this long? It’s strange but I like the attention.”

“So you know he’s after your heart,” she said with a disapproving face. You tried to act like you were busy typing back to Ushijima but she moved to pull your phone away from you.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit rude for you to not return those feelings, though?”

“Eh, he’ll get over it,” you commented. He was a big-time, handsome guy. He could easily get anyone he wanted if he just… stopped putting all his attention towards you. It wasn’t like you had intentionally gotten him to do all these things; he kind of just, started doing them. First week of your first year of high school, he walked up to you and said ‘Come to my volleyball game tomorrow.’ He looked like a damn third year with how large and intimidating he was, so the fuck were you supposed to do? Not go? You passed the entrance exams, you weren’t stupid. You thought he’d hurt you if you didn’t, and then next thing you know he’s asking you constantly to come see him. Finding you in the hallways, at lunch, after school. One day he just showed up at your house in the morning, talked with your mom, won her over so quickly you felt like he had some sort of blackmail on her. ‘Oh, what a charming young man! Take care of our little busy bee, won’t you? Would you like to come in for a little morning snack before you go?’ Eventually, you just realized he wasn’t giving up, so you just took the fame of having the star volleyball player tote you around like a prized possession. Sure, you got stares from others, and there were definitely rumours floating around about the two of you. Predetermined wedding, you had blackmail on him, it was a joke, it was a ploy to stop people from trying to get in a relationship with him; you had heard all of them. The whisperings in the halls died down as the two of you kept on trucking, him never seeming to be discontent with how little you seemed to care how he was vying for your attention. And yet, barely anyone knew that he was the one who started all of this. Just you, your friend, and the volleyball team.

_9:58 p.m._

_Flaming-hot Tendo Meal_

_yo waka is bn weird did u say u wrnt comin to the game tmrw ?? u kno how he gets :/_

_9:59 p.m._

_The One and Only, Me_

_i told him id be out with my friends whats the problem with that?? he said it was alright >:| _

“I’m just saying, you should tell him if you have no intention in doing anything more than leading him on.”

“Hey, hey, don’t start lecturing me. He’s never expressed that he’s displeased with our current non-committal, undiscussed arrangement. Anyway, wanna see this video he sent me the other day?”

“What’s it about? I can bet it’s not a meme.”

_10:00 p.m._

_Flaming-hot Tendo Meal_

_he told u it was teh last match of the spring qualifer right ? his last one ?? u didnt come 2 any of the others so i think hes rly bumd_

_10:01 p.m._

_The One and Only, Me_

_he didnt, no_

“Hello, earth to the one leaving me in suspense over here!?” You looked up from your phone to make complete eye contact with your friend. 

“Oh, right. It’s of him cumming.” You watched as your friend’s spirit physically dropped out of her body and put itself to rest. 

_10:02 p.m._

_Flaming-hot Tendo Meal_

_can u pls come ?? this is really strnge and now hes not replying 2 me_

“Why!!? Do you!! Have that?!!” 

“Hey! Keep it down…! My parents are gonna ask what’s wrong!” you said through gritted teeth. She leaned down and put her hand to the side of her mouth.

“Why. Do you. Have that?!” You opened up the messages between you and Ushijima and stared for a moment at the last thing he sent you.

_9:46 p.m._

_Toshi not Yoshi ♥_

_Alright. Maybe tell them it’s an important match._

You scrolled up past it and then past the ‘video’ and to the picture you had sent him twenty minutes prior. You showed your friend who grabbed at your phone grubbily and examined the screen. “I sent him this picture of me with milk dripping down from my mouth and the caption ‘What if this is what I looked like after we did it? What would you do?’... Hey! Are you scrolling through my messages?!” You tugged your phone away from your friend, her face in a very obvious state of discontent.

“You guys sexted for twenty minutes and you’re _not_ dating.” 

“It was mostly me just seeing what would happen…” You tried to dejectedly hide your face behind your phone, but the messages were right there in front of you. He had definitely, albeit not that successfully, _tried_ . And, yeah, okay, sure, you had _asked_ to see him do it when he said he was close. Sometimes the urges win over rational thought, okay?

“Uh-huh… You really can’t keep doing this. You know and _have known_ he’s into you.”

“Dudes send their dicks all the time to people they’re ‘into’, why is this any different?” She gave you a very knowing, very _you seriously can’t keep trying to act like this isn’t what’s happening_ look. “Fine. He’s into me. There, happy?”

“Have you guys, you know...?”

“What does that have to do with anything?! And no!!”

“So he just sent you a vid of him cumming _to you_ and you think that’s totally fine that you have no feelings for him for _three years_?! You have to rip this band aid off, right now. You’re into him or you’re not, which is it?”

“Why is this an or situation? Can’t I be into the idea of what he gives me but not into him?” You were definitely being backed into a corner, both figuratively and literally. Your friend was scooting closer and closer to you, her irate scowl growing as you tried to beat around the bush. Your phone buzzed again.

_10:07 p.m._

_Flaming-hot Tendo Meal_

_4 real pls talk 2 him soon.. i kno u dont think he cares abot u bn thr but he does_

“That’s… being not into him. And _wrong_.” She let out a long sigh before sitting back on her calves. You let out an equally-done sigh; she was right. Rip the stupid band aid off while you can. The last text definitely wasn’t helping.

“He’s… it’s really intimidating being around him, and I don’t mean just the rumours and the jabs people think I don’t hear.” You flipped your phone around in your hand, noting all the little stickers you had gotten from going to all his games. You tried to get him to find one he liked every time you went. That one was from the first year of Interhigh, and that was from the following Spring one; these three over here were just some he found in a store one day and bought for you. Damn, this _was_ wrong. “You and I both know that I barely stand on the same level as him. For fuck’s sake, he’s already being chosen to represent Japan at a world championship?! Hello?? I stayed this non-committal because the moment he realized ‘Damn, I could get someone better’ I wouldn’t have to deal with getting worked up over him.”

“You were scared he’d stop caring when you started.” You waved your hands around weakly in agreement. 

“Yeah… I was. Still am.”

“Then maybe, I don’t know, talk about it? He’s put up with your ass for three years, I think he can deal with you being truthful.” You lifted your phone to open it, pausing at the lock screen. It was one of the few times he had ever really _smiled_ , if you could say the smallest of smirks was a smile, but it was to you. It was the night he had won the last Interhigh qualifiers, him lifting you up on his back and carrying your sleeping ass with one arm while taking the picture with the other hand. You woke up to it set to that photo; guess your passcode at the time wasn’t that complex. Still freaked you out that he unlocked your phone but he swore he only changed the lock screen. “In person,” your friend chided, breaking you out of your thoughts.

“Fine, I guess we’re going to a volleyball game tomorrow.”

_10:10 p.m._

_The One and Only, Me_

_we’ll be there, Toshi!! do you want to meet before or after the game?_

_10:10 p.m._

_Toshi not Yoshi ♥_

_Both, if you can spare the time._

_10:11 p.m._

_The One and Only, Me_

_okay C: sleep well you big volleyball dingus_

_10:12 p.m._

_Toshi not Yoshi ♥_

_Sleep well._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay... i'll admit... I MIGHT write smut... the summary idea is kind of....... interesting.... and it would be.. short and sweet...
> 
> updates to possibly come (o wo)b


	2. Bound by Loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i felt.. displeased with how i wrote the ending. i realized that i had created a problem but not enough resolution. i have chosen to remedy it, partially.

_10:14 a.m._

_The One and Only, Me_

_we’re about to arrive in Sendai maybe like 5 minutes_

_10:15 a.m._

_Toshi not Yoshi ♥_

_You took the train, right? I’ll meet you there._

_10:15 a.m._

_The One and Only, Me_

_yeahh and okay!!_

You weren’t sure why you felt as nervous as you did, but you tried to tell yourself that the shaking emanating from your stomach was just motion sickness. It wasn’t like you were about to go see the guy who you had to have a serious, completely unknown-territory conversation with right before apparently what was an incredibly important match. You thought that, perhaps, had you taken this whole situation a lot more seriously and instead of using it to coast through the already nerve wracking experience Shiratorizawa school life was you wouldn’t be in this mess of _oh, do I like him or do I just like the status?_ God, this train ride was feeling so long and nothing could keep your attention from derailing back to how this was probably going to go horribly. Your friend took notice of how you keep switching apps every ten or so seconds, refreshing the feeds to no avail and nudged you with her shoulder. 

“Calm down, damn. This is like your first track meet where you nearly fell over trying to tie your shoes,” she said, her tone gentle but still firmly telling you to stop being a big baby. You gave her a weary smile and put your phone into your bag, your hands coming to fiddle with each other nervously. Not having your phone and the unchanging feeds of social media weren’t actually helping. She lightly sighed before grasping your fidgeting hands with one of hers. “Look, I told you. If he can put up with your clueless, shitty self for three years he can put up with you telling him the truth.”

“Thanks for the compliment,” you groaned as you let your head loll backwards. 

“And what is the truth, again?” she asked, knowingly but still with a bit of questioning interlaced. You sighed deeply before replying.

“That I like his dumb, pretty face and his kind, unwavering devotion or whatever and maybe we could try to be more serious from now on.”

“Aaaand…?”

“I’m sorry for being a non-committal jerkwad and not coming to him sooner about how I felt.” Your stomach rolled a little bit at how those words felt on your tongue. Ah, yes, Ushijima, the star volleyball player of Shiratorizawa, would _totally_ be okay with this. Totally okay with the slap in the face this newfound— well, not really newfound— desire to be a _real_ couple after _all that_. You couldn’t help but feel your soul leave your body for a moment as it contemplated whether it should escape now or right as he told you that your proposal wasn’t good enough for him. Then, everything you had taken for granted would be gone, and you’d be alone and hopeless for the rest of your life. Who would want to get tangled up with someone who had the world and threw it all away due to fear of losing it? How did you pass the entrance exams with how stupid you had been with this whole thing?

“Hey,” your friend nudged you again, a caring expression on her face, “things will work out, alright? My brother’s his size so if he hurts you, well, ya know…” She lightly smacked her fist into her palm and continued to beam warmly. You felt the uneasiness in your stomach settle a bit as the overhead speakers indicated that they had arrived in Sendai. When the train finally came to a halt, you shouldered your bag and stood up, feeling your friend loop her arm around yours. “You got me, let’s go.”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

* * *

Just like he said he would be, Ushijima was waiting patiently nearby to meet up with you. He gave a small greeting before Tendo popped out from around the corner, a snack covered in chocolate shoved into his mouth. You smiled as he tried to give some sort of greeting through the food, Ushijima soon after coolly scolding his teammate for trying to speak with his mouth obviously full. 

“Ah, sorry, I just get excited when they come to watch us play,” Tendo said after gulping down the rest of the snack and cleaning off the excess on his fingers. “I have to since Waka doesn’t wanna show he’s happy when you’re around.” You glanced over at Ushijima and watched as he scoffed at the teasing remark. 

“I think they know quite well how I feel.”

“Are you sure?” Tendo retorted almost in unison with your friend under her breath. You gave her a playful shove that said ‘don’t you start too.’ Ushijima disregarded Tendo’s pestering and extended his hand out to you. Your friend giggled softly as you hesitantly took it, feeling the rough but gentle grasp he had. This had never felt so awkward before and you were sure it was obvious to everyone but him.

“It’s hot for October, don’t you think?” Ushijima asked, giving you an examining gaze as he noted how red your face was. Great. It was obvious to everyone. You waved your free hand in your face and gave a lopsided grin.

“Yeah, it is kind of warm for fall…”

“Do you want me to carry your jacket until we get there?” 

“Ah! No, it’s fine! It’s only a few minutes’ walk, right?” Ushijima hummed a ‘yes’ to your question, giving you an opportunity to bite the bottom of your lip. If the city of Sendai had a record high today it was because your ears had eclipsed the sun for the brightest and hottest object in the solar system. It didn’t help this was _his_ jacket, it being the first one you could easily grab before leaving. If fate was real, it was being exceptionally cruel today to play such a trick. “Who are you up against today?” You needed to fill the empty space for a few more minutes and to give yourself the chance to cool down.

“Karasuno,” he replied with a hint of… eagerness? 

“Oh, you talked about them before, right? The school with that… uhh, freak? Quick?” Another ‘yes’ hummed from him. You let the silence rest for a few moments before asking another question. “Do you think you’ll win?”

“We’ll win.” He sounded so sure it felt like he already knew the outcome, yet for some reason it came out a bit later than you thought it should have. Normally, he was so quick to state how he felt. He was Ushijima of Shiratorizawa after all; who stood a chance against him at the prefecture level?

“I guess I’ll hold my congratulations until after the match, then,” you said with a small laugh despite the odd feeling you had. “I’ll be waiting to give you a victory hug right here.” You stopped right at the edge of the small area outside the entrance to the building the match would be held in. “Alright?” You gave his hand a small squeeze and he met your gaze, a small warmth in those olive green eyes. 

“Alright.” 

And just for a moment, you felt like that was how things would be: alright.

* * *

You don’t remember how many times you screamed his name, cheering him on. Things would look like they were just a few moments away from victory and then they weren’t. Points got snatched away like starving birds stole food from outside venues. They fought, and fought, and fought, relentlessly, like all they had to lose was here on this very court. And finally, it was over, with that odd feeling that you had before you stepped inside settling in. 

He lost.

Shiratorizawa lost, two to three, with a final, fifth set of 19 to 21. 

Things didn’t always go as expected.

You waited outside, watched as people left, heard the ways they talked. The confusion, the taken-back disbelief, the excitement for the underdogs. It felt like something bigger had happened on that court today, something bigger than just a game, but you couldn’t describe it accurately. It was a while before anyone from Shiratorizawa came out, eventually a large group of the team exiting with a sense of gloom hanging over them. You flagged down Tendo who was trailing behind the farthest, asking where Ushijima was. He gave a few suggestions, but he didn’t really know, just somewhere in the building still; he’d come out at some point. Your friend advised waiting outside until he did, but again, that feeling in your stomach. You gave a small apology as you went to go and find him, stating you’d be back soon if you couldn’t. 

He was right around the corner, the first hallway you looked, like he was waiting for you to come and find him. He opened his arms just enough for you to press your body against his, you not minding the scent and feeling of dampness on his clothes. You felt the words roll up from his chest and out his mouth as he spoke just loud enough for you to hear.

“We lost.”

“Yeah…” You didn’t know what to say, but you didn’t feel the moment called for a silent acknowledgement. You started to gently rock back and forth, noticing how he started to match your small movements as you hummed a soft melody your mother used to when you were younger. It always calmed you down, brought you back to a happier, brighter mood; it felt… right for the moment. 

“Come home with me tonight,” Ushijima said, again in that low, only for you to hear volume. You nodded your head against his chest, feeling him pull you just a bit closer. That feeling in your stomach seemed to disappear.

Things didn’t always go as expected, but things would turn out alright eventually. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or even in a year, but eventually, things would be alright. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (/w \\) what will happen tonight..? 
> 
> find out next time on "how many more chapters will this guy write ending in cliff-hangers in his lifetime: the web series"


	3. Bound by Tension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heehee..
> 
> also friend now has name! good job me for finally beating that creative hurdle

_ 3:24 p.m. _

_ The One and Only, Me _

_ ditchin u 2 go home w/ toshi  _

_ 3:24 p.m. _

_ Mama Mia Mayari _

_??? did you just walk PAST ME  _

_ 3:25 p.m. _

_ The One and Only, Me _

_ yea lol c u _

_ 3:25 p.m. _

_ Mama Mia Mayari _

_ WAIT AT LEAST TAKE A CONDOM \\(O -O)/ _

_ 3:26 p.m. _

_ The One and Only, Me _

_ NOT LIKE THAT OMFG U KNO D< _

_ ALSO Y DO U HVE THOSE??!? >:O _

* * *

The ride back was silent until the group stopped to eat, boosting all the boys out of the post-game funk and right back into their normal, teenage boy states of being. It was nice to see all of them be boys for a moment after sulking around and wistfully looking out the bus windows or aimlessly scrolling through their phones. Ushijima was more or less the same, not showcasing much of how he really felt about the whole thing. Although, he hadn’t really given your hand a chance to be free of his since you left Sendai. You knew that there was something lying just beneath the surface but you didn’t dare to tread the waters just yet. If he had thoughts he’d bring them to light at some point.

_ 5:41 p.m. _

_ Flaming-hot Tendo Meal _

_ yooooo keep it down ovr thr  _

_ 5:41 p.m. _

_ The One and Only, Me _

_??? what are you talking about _

_ 5:42 p.m. _

_ Flaming-hot Tendo Meal _

_ the vibes waka is givn off r rly loud _

_ 5:43 p.m. _

_ The One and Only, Me _

_ …………… what _

_ r _

_ u _

_ talking _

_ about _

_ 5:44 p.m. _

_ Flaming-hot Tendo Meal _

_ ull c soon _

You turned around in your seat, peering down the aisle towards where Tendo was sitting, to see him eyeing you mischievously. He gave a small wave and a wide grin before slinking into his seat and out of sight. Ushijima squeezed your hand a bit making you turn back around. He gave you a short glance before returning to looking out the window. Alright, what did Tendo get that you didn't apparently? 

"Is something the matter?" you quietly asked, pulling yourself closer to him so you could try and speak more privately. Well, as privately as a bus filled mostly with teenage boys could be.

"Nothing you should worry about right now," he returned, giving you another short glance before shifting a bit in his seat. 

"'Right now'?" you pondered out loud before mentally scolding yourself at your carelessness. More movement in the seat, this time slightly bumping you away from him. You leaned back in. "Are you comfortable? Should I move to the seat in front?" The bus was huge, which wasn't surprising given it was Shiratorizawa’s, but Ushijima's large frame could easily take over two seats if he chose to. He grunted a little before meeting your somewhat concerned look. You wish you knew what the fuck Tendo meant by 'his vibes' so this would be easier because right now he was incredibly unreadable, more so than normal. 

"No, it's fine."

"When someone says 'it's fine' they usually mean 'it's not fine'. I'll just move." You started to pull away from him and get up before he firmly pulled you back down into the seat, albeit not where you just had been. With skill like he had done this a thousand times, you somehow ended up right in his lap, in the newly created space between his legs. His arms carefully wove themselves around you and pulled you into his chest. His chin brushed against the top of your head. 

"No, it really is fine," he murmured into your hair. 

Your phone buzzed for a solid thirty seconds as you sat there, entangled in his embrace, completely confused about the straight up smoothness that had just occurred. You had barely even had time to yelp as you were pulled backwards into him. This was very unlike him, but he offered nothing other than this gesture as explanation for whatever was going on in his head. You were incredibly in the dark which shouldn’t have been the case since you were so  _ hot  _ you should have been emitting light. If the rest of year had record highs and lows it was because on this day there were fires in every part of your body, depleting the ozone layer faster than any megacorporation could dream of. Sorry world, but it wasn't like you could help or stop it. Ushijima had just caused a global disaster.

* * *

_ 5:47 p.m. _

_ Flaming-hot Tendo Meal _

_ AHAHAJAHAAHA _

_ did he just ??!? _

_ omg its finaly happenin _

_ i told u the vibs wer L O U D _

_ YOOOOO EITA U OWE ME $$$ _

_ waka goNNA GET IT TONITE _

_ wait sry wrng person  _

_ we totly didnt hve a bettin pool goin  _

_ pls domt tell waka tht  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehee.. hohoho.. ahh haha.. ha..
> 
> don't hurt me ><;
> 
> next chapter i pwomise \\(uwu)/ and then info on a possible future project...


	4. Unraveled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update wowee

When the bus finally arrived back at Shiratorizawa, most of the team barely wanted to get off the bus, a combination of full stomachs and tiredness having fully seeped into their systems. You couldn’t blame them, the bus was surprisingly well suited for sleeping in, not that you really got much rest in your position. You had faithfully stayed— albeit, it could be said that you had no choice but to— bound by Ushijima’s arms keeping you in his lap. It was by no means uncomfortable, on the contrary it was very enticing to fall asleep right there within the confines of his warmth and steadiness; his breathing was way too rhythmic to not lull someone to sleep. However, your racing thoughts of  _ damn what is with this sudden change in him _ and the realization that you had not, at any point since meeting him at the train station, figured out how you were going to approach the elephant that followed closely behind you since yesterday. If Mayari was here, she’d be both taking embarrassing pictures of you and giving you  _ the look _ to get with it. 

Ushijima was incredibly quiet when both of you started to walk home, barely having said much in terms of goodbyes to his fellow teammates. Tendo and Eita were definitely giving some side-eye glances as they spoke with Ushijima before departing, you flicking them off out of sight of him. Why did everyone think that  _ that _ was going to happen?! Sure, three years had gone by but damn, the two of you hadn’t even sexually done anything… Wait, that was a lie; sexually done anything physically. As you smiled to yourself at correcting your own inner thoughts, Ushijima spoke with a low, almost demanding tone.

“You’ll sleep with me tonight.” 

You about nearly choked on your own spit, soon after coughing out a response. “Okay, ho-hold up…” As you tried to slow down your now racing heart rate and fan away the heat rushing straight into your ears, you let go of his hand and stopped. You watched as his shoes disappeared out of your sight before the fronts of them made their way into your view again. “Why does… Why does everyone thi-think that we’re gonna like… ya know…?” You really didn’t want to meet his gaze because, quite frankly, you were definitely a mess on the inside right now and you did not have the wherewithal to not make that obvious. Maybe, just maybe, it was the innocent version of sleep—

“Fuck?” He said it so nonchalantly like the action was something that both of you normally did. With each other. Obviously. You had done it  _ so many  _ times in three years. No!! The sexting incident last week was literally the first time the two of you had shared sexual urges!! Your head snapped up in disbelief at the indifference he seemed to have to the implications his answer had. 

“You can’t be serious, can you?” 

“What would imply I’m not serious?” Ushijima took another step forward, placing his hand on your now shaking shoulder. This seriously wasn’t going to happen  _ tonight _ was it? 

“Oh, I don’t know,” your voice started to crack at the overflowing mess your emotions were creating in your head, “the fact that we’ve never done anything like that?! The fact that I’ve been running away from letting myself start caring about you for three years now?? You can’t tell me you’re that much of a volleyball-obsessed idiot that you  _ didn’t _ notice I wasn’t really returning your feelings, right?” Ushijima stood there for a moment before slipping his hand down to your forearm and beginning to pull you into a nearby alley. “Did you not fucking hear me!?” 

“I did,” he replied without hesitation as he turned around, suddenly pinning you to the alleyway wall. He saw the fear in your eyes for a second before relaxing his grip, a flash of fear going across his face before it was replaced with a hesitant sadness. “If we’re being honest, I knew.” He didn’t really meet your gaze as he talked, instead focusing off to the side of your face. “But I didn’t care.”

“You didn’t care…?” Your emotions calmed down somewhat and were slowly being replaced with a confusing understanding of the situation as Ushijima continued to talk.

“I thought I knew what it took to be with someone intimately. The attention, the affirmations, the desire to be in each other's presence. If I did what I thought was right to cultivate intimacy, you would do what you thought was right, too.” His words were soft, raw, and almost lacking in any sense of protection from vulnerability. You were sure that if this had been anyone else saying this, they’d be crying, yet he didn’t. 

“Eventually, I thought you would care.” Okay, shit, you’ll do the crying for him.

“What the fuck did I do to deserve this…?” you said as the sad realization swept over you like a flood. You had been so caught up in keeping yourself safe from the harm of feelings while he had been throwing himself, day in and day out, in the forefront of the battle. He wasn’t an idiot like his friends joked; he knew what he was doing, he was just… unconventional about it. Effort in, reward out, right? If it fails, get back up and try again, right? Hit it until it breaks, right?!

Ushijima brought his face next to yours, ghosting his breath over your ear and pressing his body against yours, breaking you out of your thoughts. “You were you. Something about you pulled me towards you and entangled us together,” he began as he laid a short kiss against your neck. “At times I feared it would unravel, but it didn’t.” He released one of his hands from keeping you pinned to gently cusp your face, his mere centimeters away from yours.

“Were you scared that I would leave without ever caring?”

“Of course, but I don’t think I have to worry about that anymore.” You saw how his face dipped lower before you felt him on your lips. Careful and hesitant, exploratory, but soft and passionate. Your eyes closed slowly as you began to return the kiss, your free hand coming to firmly rest against his chest. As your hand began to dip lower towards the waistband of his pants, he pushed his tongue between your lips almost greedily. You let him enter before feeling the very obvious erection he was now sporting as it pushed against your thigh and grazed your fingertips. You pulled back a bit, sucking in your breath and seeing how uncontrolled his eyes were. He appeared almost wild, unrestrained and hungry. 

“Do you…?” You dipped your hand near a pocket in your bag, feeling the cold wrapper.

“Tendo gave me one,” he said, pulling your bag off your shoulders and dropping it to the ground. He did the same with his before pulling something out of his jacket. You silently cursed Tendo for his almost omniscient foresight. You’d swear out Mayari to her face later. 

“No, I meant like ‘Do you think we should do it in an alley?’” Ushijima stopped for a second, thinking over the question before shrugging off his jacket fully and covering your hand near his waistband. 

“Unless you want to do it within earshot of my mother.” It took you very little time to determine which was the least embarrassing option.

“Yeah, fuck it.” You pushed down his waistband with him eagerly helping you guide it down. What’s a little voyeurism when the other option is a possible motherly intruder? “At least we’ll have a fun story to tell,” you laughed a little as you dropped to your knees. Ushijima gave his own low, rumbling laugh and you glanced up to catch his expression. He was smiling.

“I guess we will.”

* * *

_ 9:12 p.m. _

_ Mama Mia Mayari _

_ did you guys bang yet?? _

_ 9:14 p.m. _

_ The One and Only, Me _

_ fuck u _

_ i have more words to say to you but it’s late and me tired _

_ tomorrow, my place, brawl in the streets _

_ 9:15 p.m. _

_ Mama Mia Mayari _

_ lmao okay _

_ i’ll bring tendo so we can celebrate after i beat your ass _

_ dont bring the “not my boyfriend” boyfriend _

_ that would be unfair advantage _

_ 9:16 p.m. _

_ The One and Only, Me _

_ i’m gonna fucking kill you both _

_ 9:16 p.m. _

_ Mama Mia Mayari _

_ <333 luv u sleep well  _

_ 9:17 p.m. _

_ The One and Only, Me _

_ die _

_ 9:20 p.m. _

_ sleep well so i can kick ur ass  _

_ fair and square AND with love _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BeFoRE anyone comes for my HEAD...
> 
> i just can't... i couldn't... i can allude to it easily, but writing it... please professionals do it for me...... xwx
> 
> i have qualms about smut to begin with (it just doesnt feel right to me when writing it) and then pile on they are canonically high schoolers... not my thing. i'll leave the fic completed for now, but perhaps if i get enough nerve i will write the scenario leading to the event i lured everyone in with (the cum video) C<]:3c
> 
> EDIT: Scratch that, I'm writing ANOTHER CHAPTER (or more idk lmao)


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